Raining Nonstop in My Heart

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Raining In Mt Broken Heart

 

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you. ~ Exodus 20:12, NASB

 

As for the days of our life, they contain seventy years,
Or if due to strength, eighty years,
Yet their pride is but labor and sorrow;
For soon it is gone and we fly away. ~ Psalm 90:10, NASB

 

When Jesus saw the crowds, He went up on the mountain; and after He sat down, His disciples came to Him.  He opened His mouth and began to teach them, saying,

 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”  ~ Matthew 5:1-3, NASB

 

and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away. ~ Revelation 21:4, NASB

 

 

 

Human life comes with no magical number—
Threescore years and ten not guaranteed to
Everyone into whom the Breath of Life is breathed
Putting within all living souls an eternal soul
An endless spiritual dimension of humanity.

Yet long-life promise Command is figurative—
At best, most days are long in Promised Lands
But years are far shorter than the psalmist’s seventy
Briefer still for countless parents’ beloved sons
Or daughters they received from Indian Giver:
Grief’s irate criticism of living souls’ Creator.

Heartache cosigns divers pejorative expressions—
Death makes them intensely strange bedfellows;
Thankfully, God’s Love covers a multitude of mindsets
Dead set on using finger pointing to hide the pain
That mentally fighting noxious emotional wounds
Deepen as human nature ignores Spirit’s Healing.

Child-loss pain is without equal, unlike none other—
Uniquely categorized since it betters bereavements’
Other types, triggering rawest ever-conceived anger that
Wages war against the unfairness of it all, hardening
Hearts reluctant to see collateral beauty around them
Uninterrupted by undying love that sets off joy and hope.

Domino effect doesn’t just signify a future disaster—
It illustrates how love that is in the middle of all life
Is hearts’ forever falling domino concurrently connecting
By coupling each toppled one to grief, pain, suffering,
Loss, or varied other ripples, including death, as they
Form rings around unending love’s collateral beauty.

Even so, diabetes monkey wrenched my life—
This pre-existing condition snuffed out
Olumuyiwa’s candle short of my often prayed for
Long-life plan for my eldest son whose
Given name means: ‘God provides this.’

I’m sure Ade, denoting ‘my crown,’ will get his—
For my strong soldier fought the hardest battles;
Still my heart misses its vital piece needed to fix these
Throbbing, flip-flopping, pounding, skipping beat
Irregular rhythms’ agonizingly irksome hiccups.

They’re from regularly reran videos of his life—
He’s infant, teen, adult; optimist then pessimist;
He’s laughing, speaking, leaving, returning, then dying
In my head’s wirelessly streamed detailed scenes
Of jubilation and desolation that wear me down.

Every interlude between reruns baits my fear—
Cruel taunts make me believe I have begun to
Forget the strong-willed, handsome, animated part
Of me that died, living now only in memories
Daydreams summon instantly without delay.

Losing Olumuyiwa unlocked soulish floodgates—
Now it’s heavily raining nonstop in my old heart,
Wet monsoons from an overflowing waterlogged soul;
Life is surreal like I’m imprisoned and dying in
The center of a floating no locks, no bars vast
Airless gravity-defying water designed bubble.

Losing Olumuyiwa aftereffect is canyon in heart—
This too wide to close gap prevents me from ever
Being same person, since grief has no expiration date
Just a myriad of sadness and hopelessness tides
That confirm uncomfortable truth: he’s not here.

 

~ The above poem is from my new poetry manuscript titled Deep-Rooted Disposition.

 

 

~ The above video (MP4 file) is stored on Google Drive. I created and posted this video on July 2, 2017. It is a tribute to my son, Olumuyiwa Ade Keen, who died on May 2, 2017. “Softly at Sunrise” by Gerald Alright is the song that is playing in the background. Olumuyiwa loved this Smooth Jazz song!