Death and life have taught me that child-loss is unthinkable, and they have taught me that anguish is inescapable. Additionally, death and life have taught me that grief has no expiration date. As a result, the separation I have yet to bounce back from is the ultimate untimely farewell (Ade’s death), which was the last separation Ade and I would have.
Today is the first anniversary of our beloved son’s death. It seems like it was just yesterday that Olumuyiwa Ade Keen died. We truly are thankful to God that Ade is no longer in pain, but because on Earth grief has no expiration date our pain won’t ever end.
In America, February is Black History Month—an annual celebration of African-Americans’ achievements. This month also is a time for recognizing the crucial role Blacks played, and continue to play, in U.S. history.
Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated will be 110 years old on January 15, 2018. By being of “Service to All Mankind,” there can be no doubt that for many of these 110 years me and my fellow strong, dignified, and elegant Sorors have contributed to the countless lives our marvelous Sorority has affected.
These holidays have me thinking about all my loved ones who are no longer living on this Earth. I’m deeply missing all of them. However, it is my son—Olumuyiwa Ade Keen—that I miss most of all!
Families are forever, and there aren’t any legal divorces that will ever change that fact. Furthermore, as an unknown author says in the following quotation: “Death leaves a heartache that no one can heal; love leaves a memory that no one can steal.” I will always remember you, Mr. Wash. Moreover, even though your son and I are divorced, you are still my family. I love you, and I miss you dearly. Rest in Jesus’ arms.
We never should take any life for granted—never should assume our loved ones will live long, healthy, and prosperous lives. We should hank God, every day, for His precious gifts called children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, and spend as much time as possible with all of them.
Losing another family member while we are still grieving the loss of our own child really can upset some of our souls. Unfortunately, many of us will experience multiple losses on numerous occasions—some deaths will be far apart and some will be very close to each other. Either way, whenever we lose our loved ones that will be when we absolutely should lean on and trust in our Comforter.
For the people who think that parents of a deceased son or daughter should get over their loss (should stop grieving) after a few months, I want you to know that their ‘missing a child’ feeling never goes away. This truth means their grief has no expiration date. Furthermore, because a piece of these grieving parents is gone (lost forever), these parents will never be the same again.
I am sure that all parents expect their children to outlive them. I know I expected that, but God had a different plan for my oldest son. He just turned forty-five on Sunday, April 30th. On Tuesday evening, May 2nd, he went home to be with the Lord.