On April 30th, I will forever be reminded that this day in 2017 was the last time
Ade enjoyed his birthday in the land of the living. Additionally, I will forever be
reminded that the one flower I would love to see in full bloom in May—my son,
Ade—was instead plucked from the garden of life on May 2nd.
Death and life have taught me that child-loss is unthinkable, and they have taught me that anguish is inescapable. Additionally, death and life have taught me that grief has no expiration date. As a result, the separation I have yet to bounce back from is the ultimate untimely farewell (Ade’s death), which was the last separation Ade and I would have.
Today is the first anniversary of our beloved son’s death. It seems like it was just yesterday that Olumuyiwa Ade Keen died. We truly are thankful to God that Ade is no longer in pain, but because on Earth grief has no expiration date our pain won’t ever end.
When a born day’s joy is ruined by reminders of the day a parent died and the day a child was confined to a hospital bed—then died less than two months later—there is no way the birthday person will feel truly jubilant.
Families are forever, and there aren’t any legal divorces that will ever change that fact. Furthermore, as an unknown author says in the following quotation: “Death leaves a heartache that no one can heal; love leaves a memory that no one can steal.” I will always remember you, Mr. Wash. Moreover, even though your son and I are divorced, you are still my family. I love you, and I miss you dearly. Rest in Jesus’ arms.
Losing another family member while we are still grieving the loss of our own child really can upset some of our souls. Unfortunately, many of us will experience multiple losses on numerous occasions—some deaths will be far apart and some will be very close to each other. Either way, whenever we lose our loved ones that will be when we absolutely should lean on and trust in our Comforter.
For the people who think that parents of a deceased son or daughter should get over their loss (should stop grieving) after a few months, I want you to know that their ‘missing a child’ feeling never goes away. This truth means their grief has no expiration date. Furthermore, because a piece of these grieving parents is gone (lost forever), these parents will never be the same again.
I am sure that all parents expect their children to outlive them. I know I expected that, but God had a different plan for my oldest son. He just turned forty-five on Sunday, April 30th. On Tuesday evening, May 2nd, he went home to be with the Lord.
Another one of my mother’s siblings went home to be with her and with the Lord. My Aunt Daisy died Sunday afternoon. She was one of my mother’s younger sisters. Rest in peace in Jesus’ arms, Aunt Daisy!
Another one of my mother’s siblings went home to be with her and with the Lord. My Uncle Jesse died this morning. He was my mother’s baby brother. Rest in peace in Jesus’ arms!
