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No Mud . . . No Lotus!

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After you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace—who has called you into His eternal glory in Messiah—will Himself restore, support, strengthen, and establish you. – 1 Peter 5:10, TLV




If he didn’t want you,
Forgive his green-eyed stares
Watching you from a
Distance now as your blossoming
Lotus petals open in
Spite of the mud he thought
He smothered you in –
Pain so deep and dark washed
Off by murky dirty water
That ironically re-created you unsoiled.
 
He’s threatened by the
Beauty that broke through the
Heartache his rejection
Prompted – an ill-fated decision
Resulting from his lust
Of flesh and eyes that failed to
Discern the grass is only
Greener wherever it is watered –
So, he left instead of
Working on turning green the meadow
He now covets, after
Devaluing and dismissing your potential.    

Jealousy, a soul-devouring
Sickness, lays dormant until he sees
How you emerged spotless
On the outside and strong on the inside
While outwardly he fakes
Feelings meant for you and inwardly pines,
So afraid to use the remedy
He once used – surrendered pride and joy
For pride and joy he thought
Looked better on the other side of the fence.

He refuses to grab hold of
Hard to express feelings that are eating a
Hole in his sad soul and in
His ever-bleeding heart that knows you’re
His true love and she is
His first aid quick fix that never helped him
Heal self-inflicted wound –
Hastily divorcing then remarrying because
He promised her, yet forgot
He promised you first ‘til death do we part.
 
If he didn’t see you as
Soulmate then, just forgive his
Blindness and egotism
That make him want the new you
Who remarkably grew
Through his mud toward the light,
Warmth, and splendor
In the grass he was searching for  
When he settled for an
Imitation – a forlorn decision that 
Foreclosed any possibility
He’d realize your anchored strength
And flexibility often look
Fragile on the surface but are why you
Rose through adversity and
Blossomed so strongly and stunningly.
 
 
 
-     composed August 17, 2020

Plastic Christians

09 Saturday Aug 2014

Posted by in Spiritual

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Plastic People

Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. ~ Romans 12:15, MSG

When you are joyful, be joyful; when you are sad, be sad. If God has given you a sweet cup, don’t make it bitter; and if He has given you a bitter cup, don’t try and make it sweet; take things as they come. ~ from Shade of His Hand, 1979; by Oswald Chambers

 

Refrain:

All the plastic people
What do they all come for?

Verses 4 and 5:

Plastic Jim
Will give you a conversation
To avoid a situation
That needs contemplation
Plastic Jim

Plastic Jim
With the cellophane smile
Ain’t never been a problem child
But he will be after a while
Plastic Jim

~ lyrics from “Plastic Jim” on the 1968 Life album by Sly & The Family Stone

 

While growing up in the 1950s and 1960s, I heard so many fantastically wonderful expressions that are still being used in this 21st century. One of my favorites is “plastic people,” which most always referred to artificial, sugary, fake, less than genuine people who had “cellophane” smiles. In other words, plastic people thought that they were hiding the most unpleasant parts of their lives behind their wide grins, but the truth was that their cellophane (very transparent) smiles always told on them.

For as long as I can remember, I always had been around many plastic people, and oddly enough most of them were churchgoers. Today is no different. The 21st century’s churches still are full of plastic people.

Yet, what I can’t seem to understand is why people in their sixties and seventies, who claim to have been born again and saved in their teens and early twenties, are still behaving like plastic people—are still “playing” church; are still behaving like phonies or fakes—especially about what is happening in their lives! They wear the mask of contentment, while they play the part of a continually, totally, and genuinely happy (satisfied, fulfilled, complete, pleased, comfortable, at ease) person, when in reality they are not in the least bit happy. Usually, once their smiles fade, but sometimes while they are still smiling, they begin to bark at people, lie to people, gossip about people, hate on people, and the like.

Sometimes these plastic Christians even act like they are so much better than “other” believers, but maybe that is because they want “other” believers to think that their rehearsed “God is good” mantra means EVERYTHING in their lives is peachy keen (super-duper, just perfect, hunky dory, jim dandy, two thumbs up, excellent, fine, marvelous, great, and etc.), when the converse is true. For sure, more often than not, the real truth is that these plastic people are too ashamed to let “other” believers know that “someone’s” actions have devastated their lives, or that they have devastated “someone’s” life by their actions, or that (for whatever reasons) they really are in pain; they really are hurting; they really are brokenhearted; they really feel alone; they really feel lost; and so forth.

Because I grew tired of being plastic, myself, I purposed in my heart and soul, over 20 years ago, that I would stop playing “church,” which is what I was doing whenever I gave all of the expected “churchy” responses, “churchy” facial expressions, and “churchy” body gestures. In their place, I decided that I would be REAL with everyone about my failures, about who I am, and about how I feel.

For the record, I never meant for my honest sharing of unfamiliar with humiliating embarrassments/imperfections, nerdy idiosyncrasies, and upsetting situations to offend anyone, nor did I ever mean to make anyone uncomfortable with my truthfulness about who I am, what I have done or was doing, what I had to cope with, and/or what I had to suffer or was suffering. Nevertheless, some of my family and closest friends not only had been offended and were made uncomfortable but also some were appalled by what I blatantly shared with them.

What I unfortunately have learned, however, is that there always will be people who can’t handle the naked truth, especially if it deals with humans’ tremendously depressing or immensely tragic circumstances. Too many people today, Christians included, clearly haven’t learned how to be happy with the individuals who are happy, nor have they learned how to be sad or how to cry with the folks who are sad or crying (cf. Romans 12:15). Instead, these can’t handle the naked truth people, as well as those people who don’t want to handle the naked truth, have perfected how to shame mortals who are not happy, 24/7, about EVERYTHING that has happened to them!

Personally, I think all of us have been displaying our plasticness, to some degree, whenever we were hiding our true feelings, flaws, sins, mistakes, and so forth. Moreover, because most of us have been taught, by people we love and trust, to not let anybody see our weaknesses, hurts, pains, and etc., we naively buy into their false teaching. That is why over time, too many of us incorrectly conclude that being “plastic” was better than being “for real,” because by then we also had learned that if we revealed our hurts, pains, disappointments, unhappy feelings, flops, mistakes, sins, and so forth, many of our “churches’” self-righteous folks, who generally are our family and friends, would criticize us for having them.

Let’s face it. No one wants to be told that he or she isn’t spiritual enough, or that he or she doesn’t trust God enough, or that he or she doesn’t have “enough” faith, or that he or she isn’t truly saved. Yet, sorry to say, these experienced and/or heard about often very severe disapprovals, usually coming from so-called born again and saved family members and friends, are frequently why too many believers decide to choose to be plastic people.

Funny thing is, though, being plastic isn’t the godly way to be. Indeed, not even apostle Paul’s “content,” as rendered in most English translations of Philippians 4:11, can be understood to mean he continually showed how happy he was by wearing a smiley face 24/7. Not at all. In fact, since he knew that Christ Jesus taught that in this world His believers would have trials and tribulations, that is why the apostle Paul uses the word translated as “content” to mean that, because he totally trusts in the finished work of Christ Jesus, Paul is satisfied to the point where he no longer can be disturbed or disquieted by anything that happens to him in this world.

Honestly, if Christians sought the Word of God and the Holy Spirit’s wisdom about their plasticness, both God’s Word and His Holy Spirit’s teaching on God’s Word definitely would help plastic Christians know and understand that it is utterly silly to think that Father God or Christ Jesus expects the followers of Christ to walk around grinning and acting like they are so happy about being lied to, lied on, slandered, abused, abandoned, divorced, impoverished, persecuted, or even crucified! The Scriptures never describe Christ Jesus doing that, and since His believers are supposed to follow His lead, then they shouldn’t be “acting” like that either.

The bottom line is that if we are genuine Christians who truly believe that Father God is working ALL things out (working out the good, the bad, and the unpleasantly UGLY things that have happened or will happen in our lives) for the good of those of us who are called according to His purpose (cf. Romans 8:28), then we also must really believe, not just “act” like we believe, that Sovereign God certainly is in total control of everything that happens in this world. When we have genuine Faith in Father God, we won’t act like human beings are in control of the circumstances, letdowns, struggles, setbacks, washouts, and so on, that come our way.  When we have genuine Faith in Father God, we also won’t be afraid to show happiness when we are happy, and sadness when we are sad, and etc. Lastly, when we have genuine Faith in Father God, we know how to take things as they come—we know how to be truly “content” (to no longer be disturbed or disquieted by anything that happens to us in this world, because we faithfully trust in the finished work of Christ Jesus). As a result, we will have no need to be plastic Christians on the road to becoming problem children with disruptive, ungodly behaviors.

When God Brings It to Your Door

25 Sunday Jan 2009

Posted by in Faith and Wisdom

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“There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able t bear it” (1 Corinthians 10:13, KJV).

“No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it” (1 Corinthians 10:13, NRSV).

How often have we heard Christians say that God will not give us more than we can bear? Even Apostle Paul says that either our burdens are in proportion with our level of strength, or they are burdens that God will make us able to wrestle with and win–meaning, that God knows exactly how much we can handle and will give us no more than that, or that God will give us what we need to be able to stand firm against our great difficulties so that they do not overpower us (cf. 1 Corinthians 10:13).

In theory, these words sound glorious. However, in reality, just telling others in the storms of their lives that God will not let them suffer beyond what they are able to handle, or beyond the supernatural strength that He will give to them to help them withstand until He provides a way for them to escape–either by circumventing their storms or by lessening the affects of their storms–often will not give the suffers any real joy. Then too, just preaching, teaching, and consoling others about the fact that there are no valleys so dark that God cannot find a way through them, that there are no sufferings so dreadful and terrible that God cannot prevent, remove, or help people to bear them, and that God will work it all out for the “good” (that He will overrule the evil in their favor, if they would but keep their faith in Him and rely upon Him to see them through) often isn’t enough to give the suffers a new outlook on life. That’s why, in theory, the spoken, written or sung words of encouragement, wisdom, and truth sound gloriously great, but in reality sufferers often need more than high-sounding theories, no matter how righteous and true they are.

Now, when the sufferers are unbelievers, we can understand why they could need more than just words of encouragement, but what if the people who are providing these words of encouragement, wisdom, and truth do not practice what they preach, teach, and console? What happens to God and His Word after He brings to believers’ doors more than what they would want to bear, or think they can bear? Does God vanish, leaving believers to fend for themselves? Is His Word now powerless, or only good for some people? Do believers crumble under the weight of their burdens? Do they question: “Why me?” Do they shake their fist in God’s face? Or, God forbid…do they walk away from their faith?

Certainly, how we (Christians) talk about coping with suffering and persecution with people who are in their individual storms will determine whether or not our words of comfort prove the faithfulness of God and the truthfulness of His Word. How we (Christians) handle the suffering and persecution that are in our own personal lives also will demonstrate to us (and others) how much belief and faith (trust) we actually put in the words of comfort we speak to others. Sure enough, crisis situations will reveal just how big of a gap there is between our talk and our walk–between what we say we believe, and how we live what we believe.

In my life, God has brought many storms to my door that nearly “killed” me–literally speaking. And, if my life wasn’t in grave danger from some of these storms God brought to my door, my innocence, dignity, identity, strength, and faith were.

Moreover, while I was in m storms, I never was satisfied by the people’s patented and often insensitive remarks. I especially got nothing beneficial from sayings, like: if it doesn’t kill you, it will make you stronger; trouble don’t last always; you have to forgive the ones who hurt you; you are much smarter than they say you are; hold your head up high…never let them see that they have gotten the best of you; if that were me, I wouldn’t have let that happen to me; don’t sweat the small stuff, and everything is small stuff; let go, and let God; or, God will work it out for your good.

In truth, as I went through so many of the storms that arose in my life prior to 2000, I didn’t always respond to them like the Christian I was supposed to be. Even though I was quick to preach, teach, and console others on God’s Word, I often didn’t practice what I preached, taught, and spoke as consolation. What’s more, for many of my Christian years, I often reacted to my storms in some of the ways that I did before I became a Christian. Prior to March 1, 1965, I reacted to my storms out of my innocence and ignorance—using my writings, fist, tongue, or defiant body language to silence my naysayers and bring peace to me in my storms, but this peace was never long lasting. However, the sad truth is that I am even more ashamed of my later behaviors than my earlier ones, for after I received the indwelling and infilling of the Holy Spirit I still didn’t practice what I preached, taught, or spoke as consolation.

From the age of 13, when my Christian walk started, there have been times in my life when I have crumbled under the weight of my burdens. There have been times in my life when I have asked God, repeatedly, “Why me?” There have been times in my life when I have shaken my fist in God’s face, challenging His decisions and reasons for why my life couldn’t have been easier and full of more peace. There also have been times in my life when I almost walked away from my faith.

However, because God is who He says He is, He never let me go. Even when I wanted no more of a God who would allow the atrocities and evils that were happening throughout the world, let alone the “seemingly” unbearable circumstances in my life, He wouldn’t let go. Even when I thought that He had turned His back on me, He was there through all of my storms. He was there when I wanted and didn’t want Him to be, always providing a way for me to escape.

Here are a few of the storms that God has brought to my door:

  • Being raped as a young girl (at 5) and again as a young woman (at 28); at the older age, having my life, and the lives of my children, threatened if I continued to fight my rapist … after both physical attacks, being consoled this way: forget about “it,” don’t talk to others about “it,” get over “it,” “stuff happens” …
  • Being born into a poor family with parents who drank away much of their money, leaving their children to go without wholesome food, suitable clothes and shoes, necessary school supplies, and the playthings that so many other children our ages had
  • Being on welfare most of my childhood and laughed at because I wore outdated Salvation Army and Goodwill clothing, or, when I was old enough to make my own clothes, laughed at for wearing the clothing I stitched from McCall’s, Simplicity, Butterick, Vogue, and other such patterns
  • Being laughed at for bringing soiled brown paper bag lunches to school in which there almost always was ONLY just one peanut butter and jelly sandwich
  • Being laughed at for not having any Christmas gifts to bring to school for “show and tell”
  • Being called a crybaby or looked at as if I were diseased, just because I have inherited my maternal grandmother’s teary eyes that run when any breeze hits them, or from too much sunshine, or from too much pollen, or from being too tired, or from looking at something too long, or just for the fun of it
  • Being placed in the back of my elementary classrooms, along with other “unattractive” browned-skinned “blacks,” while the more “attractive” light-skinned “blacks” were allowed to sit closer to the front of the classroom
  • Being publicly humiliated and called stupid, dumb, and lazy, because I could not do the tasks my “white” elementary teachers were writing on their blackboards, primarily because I could not see the blackboards from the back of the classrooms … after I began to wear glasses early in second grade and could demonstrate that I indeed understood the mathematical problems and other work my first and second-grade teachers were putting on the boards and orally quizzing me about, my teachers never apologized for the way they had treated me
  • Being told in front of my classmates that I could not carry a tune, and then questioned why that was so since “ALL ‘Negroes’ were singers”; when I said that I would try to sing better, I was made an example of; my punishment for “disrespecting authority”: I had to pantomime the songs that my other no-tune carrying classmates were allowed to sing during our class’ Thanksgiving musical and dramatic presentation
  • Being given lower grades for the work I did for many of my elementary, junior and senior high teachers, which usually was the case when my grades were higher than many of the “best white” students in my classes … those teachers’ actions often were supported by their rationalization: I “must have cheated” in order to get my test scores
  • Being devastated by the death of my maternal grandmother, who gave her ALL to the Lord, yet she was taken shortly after God had called home my maternal grandfather (the very ones in my life who kept me grounded in the Lord); and devastated, too, by the deaths of so many of my God-fearing Christian cousins who died at very young ages in horrific accidents, or by an excruciatingly painful disease (like cancer)
  • Being laughed at and called UGLY, just about all of my life
  • Being rejected because of my skin color and my looks, because I didn’t fit their “image”
  • Being given a sedative after my water broke, but my labor had not begun, and it was a drug that I didn’t know I was allergic to … so my “code blue” allergic reaction to this drug, the severe respiratory distress I experienced, nearly claimed my life while I was still carrying my youngest son
  • Being in numerous car accidents, some of which should have taken my life
  • Being threatened, daily, for four consecutive months, by white students and faculty members who sought to do me bodily harm, because I had informed school administrators about a “white” high school teacher who used the “N” word in front of her study hall students to describe an upcoming Black History Month school program
  • Being unable to find work in my discipline for over 5 years after I resigned from the school in which the teacher openly used the “N” racial slur … unable to find employment primarily because of the egregious comments made about me by that school’s Superintendent and because of the media frenzy this incident caused
  • Being unsupported by my spouse and my fellow African American faculty members during my whole dreadful ordeal at the school in which I reported the abovementioned racial slur incident Being tempted with the thought of taking my own life, while I was experiencing a deep depression that lasted, on and off, for over four years of my life after my spouse fell in love with another woman
  • Being divorced after nearly 27 years of marriage, because my husband wanted to marry someone he loved more than me
  • Being denied by my local church family any financial support, or help in any way, that would make my relocation to another area much easier (a church family, by the way, that I had been a member of, had held many positions in, and had given my tithes and offerings to for 17+ years), and they did so because they believed my husband would had abandoned me for another woman would do right by me and give me what I needed to live my life in the custom that I was used to—but he never did
  • Being devastated by a friend who invited me to live with her in Phoenix, AZ, assuring me that I could take my time getting myself together; … after persuading me to travel across country on a Greyhound bus with $300 in my pocket and virtually just the shirt on my back, in less than a month after my arrival, she told me that I had to leave her house; she put me out primarily because I was led by the Holy Spirit to go on a religious retreat rather than accept a temporary employment position through the temporary agency she used (my decision kept her from receiving a referral bonus); also, she put me out because I was so depressed and not the cheerful person that she once knew; and, lastly, she put me out because I refused to lie for her; the irony of her deed, telling me that I had to move out of her home, was that she told me I had to go right as she was dropping me off at a bus stop, a spot near where I would have boarded the bus that would have taken me to where my permanent job interview was to take place; she gave me until the end of that week to find shelter; it was Wednesday
  • Being called into the ministry but having what God has given to me to impart often dismissed or rejected by family, friends, clergy and church members, because I had not graduated from a Bible College, Divinity School, or Theological Seminary, or because I was not ordained by a church affiliated with “them,” or because I was just plain, old Nadine from Wilkes-Barre—in essence, a female nobody

And the list could go on, but these are just a few of my storms; and I haven’t mentioned any of the foreign mission field storms. I have experienced so many ups and downs while ministering in Japan, South Korea, and China—too many to write about here. However, I must say that the storms I have faced since 2000 (when I received the call into ministry) have received the appropriate responses, for the most part. That is to say, that I have walked my talk, and stayed the course, but only because of the Holy Spirit working inside of me. May God be praised!

The upside of all of my failed attempts at being the true Christian that I was supposed to be all along is that God still has chosen me to be His mouthpiece, in spite of myself. He has taken my messes and made them His messages. He has called me to write about, preach about, teach about, and console people in many of the very areas in which I have fallen way short. That I have fallen short and recovered from my falls is true only because of God’s Grace, and that I NOW allow Him to keep me from falling is my living testimony. Today, when I write, preach, teach or console people, saying that God is in control…He never will leave you or forsake you…He’s a friend who sticks closer than a brother…or, He will work it out for your good, I can do so because I have firsthand experiences and have learned from them that, without a doubt, God and His Word are faithful and truthful.

So, when God brings it to your door, know that He will give you everything you need to go through each storm, and that you do not have to face any storm without Him. He truly is a “way” maker. Therefore, if you are in a storm right now, won’t you let Him make a “way” for you today?