• Home
    • Contact Me
  • Statement of Faith
  • Prayer
  • This Is Me…
  • 30 Random Things About Me…

Gone Fishin'

~ …“Come after me, and I will make you fishers for men!”

Gone Fishin'

Tag Archives: untimely farewells

The Second Anniversary of an Untimely Farewell

02 Thursday May 2019

Posted by Rev. Nadine Drayton-Keen in Heartbreak, Poetry, Tribute

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

2-year anniversary, Ade, anguish, child-loss, comfort, grief, Holy Spirit, homegoing, May 2nd, mini-memoir, Mothers Who Have Lost a Child Club, oldest son, Olumuyiwa Ade Keen, permanent member, raining nonstop, sadness, transitioned, untimely farewells

Today is the second anniversary of the day my oldest son died. What I say in my mini-memoir, Untimely Farewells, about that melancholy May 2 is that I was feeling apprehensive. So:

“…I thought that if I went for a walk that it would calm me. It didn’t. As soon as I started walking, I burst into tears. While wailing, I suddenly blurted out a desperate plea.

“Father,” I sobbed, “please take me, instead of my son. I have lived a relatively long life. He is too young to die. Plus, he needs to be here for his sons and his new grandson. They surely will suffer immensely, if Ade were to die. They can do without me, but not their dad. Please, Father, let Ade live, if that is Your Will. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.”

I prayed similar prayers during that twenty or thirty-minute walk, as well as throughout that day. Still, my uneasiness continued to intensify; so much so, that by six o’clock in the evening I felt too sick to be around my family — my younger son, his wife, and their children — so I went to bed.

By now, my entire body seemed to know that Ade was dying. That was why all I wanted to do was to escape that unbearable truth by sleeping my hurt away. I had not been asleep all that long before Tarik was sitting next to me on my bed, shaking me, and begging me to “wake up.” He repeated his plea. “Please wake up, Mom. You have to wake up, now.” It was 7:50 p.m., my time.

Awake but a bit fuzzy, I asked Tarik, “Why do I need to wake up,” and before he could say “Ade is gone, Mom,” I already knew it. I immediately started crying, while simultaneously trying to push Tarik away and asking, aloud, “Why, God, why?” However, Tarik wouldn’t let me pull away from him. We cried together in each other’s arms.” (pp. 172-173)

That day, I joined a club that mothers everywhere hope they will never have to join. I became a permanent member of the Mothers Who Have Lost a Child club. What I also say in my mini-memoir is it is unfortunate that “…even though I eventually could rejoice with God that Ade was no longer suffering pain, I couldn’t avoid grieving his loss” (p. 182).

Two years later, I am still grieving the loss of my son, Olumuyiwa Ade Keen. Even though I am not, nor have I ever been, paralyzed by a deep-seated depression, I do feel sad at times, even more so on days like today.

Many grief experts have come up with their own list of things a grieving person can do that supposedly will help him or her deal with the anniversary of a loved one’s death, but the truth is nothing and no human being can get me through today. Only the Holy Spirit can comfort me while helping me deal with Ade’s death, and He is doing just that. Thank You, Holy Spirit!

I wrote the following poem in August of 2017. It is about the anguish and sadness losing Ade has made me feel. I originally posted this poem on August 13, 2017, in one of my WordPress blog articles. At that time, I noted that this poem was from my “Deep-Rooted Disposition” manuscript. “Moody Woman” is now the title of that same manuscript. Once again, here is my poem:

Raining Nonstop in My Heart
 
 
Human life comes with no magical number –
Threescore years and ten not guaranteed to
Everyone into whom the Breath of Life is breathed,
Putting within all living souls an eternal soul –
An endless spiritual dimension of humanity.
 
Yet long-life promise Command is figurative –
At best, most days are long in Promised Lands
But years are far shorter than the psalmist’s seventy
Briefer still for countless parents’ beloved sons
Or daughters they received from Indian Giver:
Grief’s irate criticism of living souls’ Creator.
 
Heartache cosigns divers pejorative expressions –
Death makes them intensely strange bedfellows;
Thankfully, God’s Love covers a multitude of mindsets
Dead set on using finger pointing to hide the pain
That mentally fighting noxious emotional wounds  
Deepens as human nature ignores Spirit’s Healing.
 
Child-loss pain is without equal, unlike none other –
Uniquely categorized since it betters bereavements’
Other types, triggering rawest ever-conceived anger that
Wages war against the unfairness of it all, hardening
Hearts reluctant to see collateral beauty around them
Uninterrupted by undying love that sets off joy and hope.
 
Domino effect doesn’t just signify a future disaster –
It illustrates how love that is in the middle of all life
Is hearts’ forever falling domino concurrently connecting
By coupling each toppled one to grief, pain, suffering,
Loss, or varied other ripples, including death, as they
Form rings around unending love’s collateral beauty.
 
Even so, diabetes monkey wrenched my life –  
This pre-existing condition snuffed out
Olumuyiwa’s candle short of my often prayed for
Long-life plan for my eldest son whose
Given name means: ‘God provides this.’
 
I’m sure Ade, denoting ‘my crown,’ will get his –
For my strong soldier fought the hardest battles;
Still my heart misses its vital piece needed to fix these
Throbbing, flip-flopping, pounding, skipping beat
Irregular rhythms’ agonizingly irksome hiccups.
 
They’re from regularly reran videos of his life –
He’s infant, teen, adult; optimist then pessimist;
He’s laughing, speaking, leaving, returning, then dying
In my head’s wirelessly streamed detailed scenes
Of jubilation and desolation that wear me down.
 
Every interlude between reruns baits my fear –
Cruel taunts make me believe I have begun to
Forget the strong-willed, handsome, animated part
Of me that died, living now only in memories
Daydreams summon instantly without delay.
 
Losing Olumuyiwa unlocked soulish floodgates –
Now it’s heavily raining nonstop in my old heart,
Wet monsoons from an overflowing waterlogged soul;
Life is surreal like I’m imprisoned and dying in
The center of a floating no locks, no bars vast
Airless gravity-defying water designed bubble.
 
Losing Olumuyiwa aftereffect is canyon in heart –
This too wide to close gap prevents me from ever
Being same person, since grief has no expiration date –
Just a myriad of sadness and hopelessness tides
That confirm uncomfortable truth: he’s not here.
 

This second anniversary of Ade’s death is very significant. Thanks to Father God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit, I have done something, which on May 2, 2017, I didn’t think it would have ever been possible. I have survived two whole years without my oldest son, who was and still is someone as enormously important to me as life itself.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • More
  • Click to share on Print & PDF (Opens in new window)
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • Click to print (Opens in new window)

Like this:

Like Loading...

First Anniversary of Ade’s Death

02 Wednesday May 2018

Posted by Rev. Nadine Drayton-Keen in Heartbreak, Tribute

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

1-Year Anniversary, Ade, critique, death, diabetes, Heaven, l, memoir, mother-son bond, mother-son relationship, mother-son separations, new book, oldest son, Olumuyiwa, pain-free, resting in the Lord, ultimate separation, untimely farewells

Ade's Senior Picture 1990 001-2-3

Olumuyiwa Ade Keen 

April 30, 1972 – May 2, 2017

He always comes alongside us to comfort us in every suffering so that we can come alongside those who are in any painful trial. We can bring them this same comfort that [YeHoVaH] has poured out upon us. And just as we experience the abundance of [Yeshua HaMashiach’s] own sufferings, even more of [YeHoVaH’s] comfort will cascade upon us through our union with [Yeshua HaMashiach].

If troubles weigh us down, that just means that we will receive even more comfort to pass on to you for your deliverance! For the comfort pouring into us empowers us to bring comfort to you. And with this comfort upholding you, you can endure victoriously the same suffering that we experience. ~ 2 Corinthians 1:4-6, TPT

I have been up all night—not because I was worried about how I will handle today. I have been up all night, because I was making some very minor revisions to my memoir. Praise Good!

It’s amazing how God had me working on my memoir, starting last night and ending early this morning.  It is no coincidence that my manuscript focuses on the many times Ade and I have been separated—all our untimely farewells, including the ultimate separation.

Where Ade is concerned, his ultimate separation happened on May 2, 2017. It didn’t take this first anniversary long to get here. It really seems like Ade went home to be with the Lord just yesterday.

I couldn’t visit Ade’s earthly resting place in person, but I am definite there in Spirit. I know he knows how much I love him and miss him. Those are messages I can send from wherever I may be in this world on any given May 2nd.  Still, in my absence, I would love it if his grave is adorned with beautiful flowers that are from the family.

In addition to the flowers and the narrative that I have dedicated to Ade, I plan to look at many pictures of my son today. I am sure there will be some photos that will make me cry, but so far today I’ve only been smiling.

Ade's Gravesite1-1,jpg

For this one-year anniversary of Ade’s death, I am re-posting the poem I wrote for his homegoing service’s program. As I say in my memoir, this poem captures my understanding of the God-kind of Hope He gives to parents who have lost a child. My poem is as follows:

 

Just Sleeping: Only Believe

Nothing in life happens by chance
Neither by accident nor happenstance;
The Fates can’t override providence
Or replace it with inevitable dominance.

Destiny may be written on some stars
But only Creator knows how long ours
Has until we are snuffed like a candle—
On the fade to black shut-eye channel.

Death brags with no reason to be proud
For he claims no life God hasn’t allowed;
Sorrows touch humans for many reasons
But He who changes times and seasons
Raises the sleeping; changes bad to good,
And upgrades His aggrieved to sainthood.

The saints who still move and still breathe
Must exercise the faith needed to believe
They’ll see their gone-home family again
Healed from all misery, illness, and pain.

 

 

Ade was 24 years old when he was diagnosed with Diabetes. From that day forward, most of his adult life was full of excruciating pain, yet he never complained. I truly am thankful to God that Ade is no longer in pain, but because on Earth grief has no expiration date my pain won’t ever end.

On this May 2, 2018, I am sending up this message on the Wings of The Dove:

I miss you, Ade. I love you, Ade. I think about you, Ade. I won’t ever forget you, Ade.

 

Love,

 

Your MOM . . . . .

 

 

P.S.

 

Here is a critique of my soon to be published new book, Lord willing. This book is my memoir that I plan to give the title of Untimely Farewells. The critique is as follows:

 

“This is a beautiful and moving story that depicts the ups and downs of a wonderful family, and the relational interactions between each member; especially between the mother and her 1st born son. It is obvious that the mother-son relationship is of utmost importance and you do an exceptional job of painting a verbal portrait of this.

The writing is done well and the story also flows well.  There is a cohesiveness and a natural flow to the content.” ~ Desireé Harris-Bonner, MBA

Managing Partner

#Spiritual Midwife for Emerging Authors

DHBonner Virtual Solutions, LLC

Share this:

  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • More
  • Click to share on Print & PDF (Opens in new window)
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • Click to print (Opens in new window)

Like this:

Like Loading...

Rev. Nadine Drayton-Keen

Sanctified Child

KEEN Blogging Days

July 2022
M T W T F S S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Jun    

KEEN (Weekly) Top Posts

  • Three Main Harvests Of Souls
  • The Fruit of the Ruach (Spirit) Is His Work – Not Ours
  • HARPAZO (Rapture, Take, Snatch, Force, Pull, Pluck, Catch, Catch Up, Catch Away) Scriptures
  • Proverbial Wisdom from Three Wise Monkeys
  • The Bride of Christ’s Inner, Upper, and Outer Garments
  • It Is Very Meaningful, When God Speaks A Name Twice
  • Being Unequally Yoked
  • Christian Snobbery: So, You’re Better Than Other Believers, Because You’re . . .
  • MYSTERY BABYLON
  • Psychological Invisibility​ (Why Mental Health ​Is an Everyday Issue)

KEEN Topics

Awards Bible Prophecy Bible Study Devotional Faith and Wisdom Heartbreak Heavenly Insights Literary Fiction National Tragedy Poetry Praises and Thanks Published Book Reblogged Review Spiritual Tribute Uncategorized

Published Book Author

Perfect Peace, published 2-19-2015; collection of my Haiku poetry

Published Book Author

Keeping It Real..., published 10-20-2015; collection of my devotions

My Newest Book

My Spirit's Musings, published 1-9-2017; collection of mostly Free Verse poems

My Mini-Memoir

My mini-memoir deals with love, loss, and forgiveness. Published July 26, 2018.

My Third Collection of Poetry

Moody Woman - published January 12, 2020

An inspirational, emotional, and spiritual literary fiction debut novel . . . published January 29, 2022 . . .

My Spirit’s Musings Press Release

Captivating New Xulon Verses Remind Believers Why Only a Christlike Life Reflects God’s Image - Reverend Keen of Deeper Walk Ministries Lyrically Addresses Christlikeness

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

Ambassador for Christ Blogger Award

Deeper Walk Ministries Logo

Serving Others Ministry

KEEN Created Graphic

Fruit of the Spirit

KEEN Created Graphic

Lone Voices Suffer

KEEN Created Graphic

AKA Haiku

KEEN Created Graphic

KEEN Social Media

  • View preachingwoman’s profile on Facebook
  • View sanctifiedchild’s profile on Twitter

KEEN Twitter Followers

My Tweets

KEEN Posts Liked

  • Spring Festival 2022 on Words Like Honey
  • Sunday Soul Search on Words Like Honey
  • Wordless Wednesday on Words Like Honey
  • Sunday Soul Search on Words Like Honey
  • Psychological Invisibility​ (W… on Gone Fishin'
  • Spring Festival 2022~ week 10 on Words Like Honey
  • Sunday Soul Search on Words Like Honey

KEEN Community of Friends/Visitors

KEEN Blogging History

  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • June 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009

KEEN Visits

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • Gone Fishin'
    • Join 1,728 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Gone Fishin'
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...
 

    %d bloggers like this: